LISTEN - BEFORE YOU NEED A RECOVERY PLAN

My life yelled at me recently. Baby!!! It yelled in a loud, distinct and unmistakable manner. It said and it is saying - there is failure before greatness, there are valleys before greatness, there are problems before greatness, and in every measure of anticipated and expected success there are measures of well - hell - to walk through. Can I let you in on a little secret? My life, in hindsight, probably had been whispering the things it started yelling - but I'm a little hard of hearing in my left ear and I am prone to being stubborn. My mother will tell you that of her three children, I am the most stubborn. Here is the thing - life has no respect of stubbornness. If I were a charismatic Baptist preacher, I would say - "oh y'all don't hear me. I said life has no respect of stubbornness."



Since it does not, life and God will wait you out until they get tired of you. I mean really, God owns time and life, you can not wait Him out. I admit I have tried. Silly, silly me. When my life yelled and I was forced to listen, I realized I had some things that needed to be worked out. There were some things attached to the way and the reasons I do/did things that I had not recognized. In example, the majority of my financial decisions were made from a place of desperation; therefore my finances have always hit crisis mode several times during the year. Life screamed it and I am now dealing with the chastisement of not handling that reality while it was yet a whisper. I began to speak a powerful dream over myself, not realizing that dreams are often manifested through major battles; yet that does not mean the dream is deferred or denied. Life screamed it and I realized I should have paid attention to the warnings to be quiet now or speak now that would stir in my spirit.


When life gets to the point that it has to scream at you or to you, you will find that it will also tell you to get a recovery plan. You will find yourself like major financial institutions and the auto industry - looking for a bailout. Guess what it may not come raining down from heaven and it may not be a plausible solution that people around you will help you out with. You may just have to bail yourself out and do some things to enter into a new level of humility. Your life may effectively tell you that a bail out plan to make you an excellent manager of every area of your life is now necessary and urgent.


If you could see me now you would see my hand is raised for I am so there. While the God I serve is so able to send one person into my life to address the pressing need for emergency money - He has not. While money does answer all things, what needs answering for me is not the things that need money but the actions and mindsets that created the need. I am not being favored with cash, but favored with understanding. While the God I love is more than able to speak healing into my body - He has not. By His stripes I am surely healed and am more healed when I recognize that this temple was given to me for a reason and what I experience in it is for a bigger purpose. Since it is, I am being favored with a new respect for it and a renewed desire to live.


Life said, "Ms. Thing get a bailout plan so that you can get exceedingly, abundantly, above all you can ask for." That means making some decisions that bring tears to my eyes. That means having and working through brief moments of feeling like a failure. That means letting go of and returning some material things that no longer fit. That means being uncomfortable in my lifestyle in order to become comfortable in my life - before it yells at me again.


Take a look at your life areas: money, health, family, spirit, professional/ business; does your life need a bailout plan? Is your life headed towards needing a bailout plan? Are you missing the whispers and inviting life to YELL? In every significant area of your life write one distinct vision and one pivotal question - is my life following my vision in this area? If not, a life bailout plan is in order. What goes into your bailout plan depends on your vision, therefore discuss it with you only or with one person who knows your sincere spirit and will be honest with you. This plan is about what your life is showing you and not what others think about what you should do in your life - being mindful of that is vital. In a country where large corporate bailouts are becoming as normal as pulling through a fast food drive thru - now is the perfect time to re-order a slice of life that is effective, feasible and divinely-blessed. Grab a shovel and bail out, because when life yells it is deafening.


E. Claudette Freeman,
Arise, Write, Release

I HAVE A LOVE JONES FOR ME

I received a rather scathing email recently. My decisions on some things had clearly perplexed the beliefs of someone else. One line in that email disturbed me more than every other word listed. That line reported that my problem is I don't love myself. Wow! What a hard thing to say to someone! What an untrue statement about me. Five years ago, ten years ago - in high school - that statement would have been a glaring and blinding reality. I probably wore it like a theatre marquee over my head, DOES NOT LOVE HERSELF. I learned to love me by learning to experience my experiences and pull what could make me better, wiser, stronger and more enlightened from each of them.


So why did the statement in the email bother me? Because it reminded me that I have not totally moved into loving me completely. I still occasionally take a step back when my life and my decisions offend those close to me. I still occasionally feel guilty about doing little things or great things for myself because of the criticism of others. I still occasionally allow the glares, comments and opinions about the extra pounds and what I do with them, to make me feel like the little fat girl in Ms. Liotti's class. I still occasionally, though I consciously fight this now, sometimes put on boxing gloves and pound myself about things that I really have no control over and are not mine to fix or ponder. I do love me. I love my crazy long toenails, my fat fingers that look like stubs when my nails are short. I love my big ears. I love the gift of writing that graces my life. I love this tapping into my inner self and releasing it.


I do love me and today I say to me it is really okay to consciously love me totally and unconditionally first. That kind of self love will certainly teach me to love my son on a deeper level and my God as well. The really great thing is when I learned to love me - I also learned how to get unloving relationships or relationships where love was secondary out of my life. You know what I think? I think aside from parents and children, no other human vessel should pull more love from you than the love you have for yourself. God gives you the ability and the reasons to love you and anything and anyone that discounts that - should be approached with caution.


I do love me - the me that I am today and all of the variations of me I have been over the years. The fat girl in elementary school that the kids picked on. The smart fat girl in high school who the guys respected but would not date. The young woman who purposely dated married men because I didn't think I could do any better. The professional woman that walked away from a job when I was told to choose between that position and being a new mom. The professional woman that went back to that job until it was clear there was nothing that I could contribute because it was time for me to move into what I had been praying for. The Christian woman who has realized that God is a hard man to love, but the ultimate right one to love. The patient woman facing hard medical conditions and believing none of it is unto death and I will be healed. The maternal woman who has learned how a hug from a little body, my Lord, can make up for all the hell that comes against you. I do love me.


The truth of the matter is, I haven't written a love letter to myself in quite some time. You have to write letters of love and adoration to yourself every now and then. On the surface, to remind you just how fabulous you are; but more importantly, to continue to evolve into a loving, loveable and in love with self kind of person. No one can love someone who has no love for himself. For loving self creates respect, esteem, vision, power and purpose. Will you do something for me? Write the most intimate, moving words of love to yourself - today. Let your words love on you, love you through the hard moments, love you until you cry out in the sheer joy of who you are. Look up. What does the marquee over your head flash? I am thrilled to say my marquee now reads LOVING ME NOW AND LOVING ME BETTER.



E. Claudette Freeman
Arise, Write, Release

THE INAUGURATION OF A DREAMER

Barack Hussein Obama is the 44th President of the United States of America, and the first Black President of the same. The election of Obama fulfills the dreams and visions of two powerful men who lived in the midst of this country's horrific and embarrassing Civil Rights struggle - Robert Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. King, in an early 60's interview said he believed a Negro American could be president within 25 years; Kennedy said in a national address (also in the early 60's) that he believed this country could heal and progress to the point that we could elect a Black president within 40 years. Their statements reflect the dreams and hopes of two men who despite seeing people at their worst - believed in their best. They had dreams not just for themselves but for a nation of people.

Interestingly, all of this has tickled my mind these last few days, after hearing two inspirational messages on dreams delivered at church. The Biblical scripture centered around the life of Joseph and how his dreams caused him to be hated - literally by his brothers. His dreams so intimidated and disturbed them that after - what I call - pulling death straws; they sold their own flesh into slavery. From there Joseph obtained prominence, was lied on by a manipulative woman, was jailed and finally rose to prominence again.

Dreams, especially those that awaken your power and prominence, are intimidating. In the past year I have learned that through a series of hard lessons. Your dreams are great as long as they quickly produce a tangible and financial reward and do so consistently. For some, that is definitely the divine path they will be favored with. For others, like Joseph, there are some seasons of hardships that must be undertaken in order that your position be sure and your faith be even more certain. You know what Joseph taught me, okay I will admit I learned a bit late as did he; but he taught me to keep my dreams securely wrapped in quiet prayer until they are strong enough to be revealed.

I unwrapped my dreams too soon to some who are not designed to dream at my level and when the money tree did not quickly shake its massive leaves to blanket the lawn on either side of the house; temporary applauders became strong opposers. I know how Joseph must have felt and even though I know without a doubt God assigned this time to me and appointed me to whoop its behind - the growing and testing of my faith is still hard. I am a stronger person because of it and I am so proud of me; for I did not run and every time I was knocked to the ground I got up. That I believe is the mark of a true dreamer - knowing that you have to fight for the dream and sometimes fight repeatedly.

As I write this my son and I are being covered by a friend who quietly respects my dreams, she and a handful of others often tell me that I have a calling to pull people's dreams out of them. I am not sure how true that is, but I am now convinced that is part of the deeper roots that sprout my dreams. Doing it - pulling out people's dreams is also part of those deeper roots and I believe it is the part that pisses off the negative forces around us. If I dream, if I fight for my dream, if I reach inside you to pull a dream to the surface - I am creating too much positive energy, too much hope, too much light.

Well, okay dreamer, join me today in pissing off dream negaters - lets inaugurate hope in our lives. As the nation, no as the world, watches the swearing in of the 44th President of the United States, he urged an era of responsibility. Stand up, grab your Bible or your tool of inspiration and write your address to the world about who you are and what your dreams bring to the table. What does your inauguration address say about hope, fighting for your dreams, allowing your sincere, divine dream to pull you through hell? What does your inauguration address say about who you are destined to be? Does your inauguration address have the power of a dreamer and audacity of hope? Dream on my child and when someone comes - and they will - to challenge your dreams and even snatch it from your bosom - tell them to GET OFF MY PILLOW!

E. Claudette Freeman,
Arise, Write, Release