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Before we get into it. I have a vision to take the intent of these blogs, partner them with some of my fiction writing and hit the road on an empowering one woman tour, that will be a show within a workshop or vice versa. Being completely honest, I need your help to do that. Please donate to the effort by clicking here, any amount. Your help will help define the number of cities and the number of people this show can reach. This is an out of the box unusual request for me and way out of my comfort zone (that's the next blog); so I hope you feel me and I hope you donate.
NOW MY THOUGHTS THIS TIME....
I am just going to admit it. There are sometimes, a lot of times, I just want to give up. I just have to admit that I have messed up royally. I can not fix the mess that I created. I feel like the rope of help being thrown down to me in my hole is still six feet too short. There are times, a lot of times, I just want to give up. There are often people around me who encourage me to give up. I tell myself it would be so much easier to just throw in the towel. I had one of those times yesterday. Then, after those two to five seconds of pity, I got excited about my vision again.
In what a lot of people have called absolutely crazy and not faith, about three years ago I stepped away from a position as Station Manager of a gospel station to move into writing. The truth of the matter is, more than faith, God had begun to show me clearly that I was out of place there and while I could not communicate so much of it to anyone; I had to go. Now, almost three years into owning a business, can I just be brutally honest here? I HAVE MADE SOME HUGE BLUNDERS AND MISTAKES! Some of them led me back to my former boss to ask for help. I have considered (and am considering) going back into the workforce (to some degree) to correct some of those mistakes. Yet, I have not lost sight of my vision. That vision is something I have talked about before - BIRTH.
When I began my solo writing career; it was about me. I was going to produce my plays and get them produced and write these books. Ladada Ladadee. That is what I was going to do. Then suddenly I had this business of coaching people through their writing process. BIRTH. Then I found myself with this small publishing company that now has this grand vision and about six authors waiting to launch their books. BIRTH. Then there was this blog where I would talk about the stuff in my head that relates to you and offer you writing exercises to work your way through life. BIRTH. I have not lost sight of my vision. Yet, I think that the mistakes, blunders, poor choices, poor stewardship and absolutely stupid moves that I was trying to hide were beating that vision down. So I decided that who the Son sets free is free indeed and I am releasing all of it. I just gave birth to freedom.
I have screwed up! I have had some holes in money bags (from the Biblical passage)! I did not count all the costs personally, familially, socially, financially nor spiritually - but unlike Florida - I have done better in the recount. Still I could not allow the stuff I did not want people to see to continue to block the view INTO MY VISION. I could not continue to see my vision around those errors. So there I have spilled the beans. I screwed up and I wanted to give up because of it, time and time again.
I have wanted to give up; instead of giving up - I keep getting up and as long as I do I know that everything will be okay. It may not be okay in my time. But it will be okay. I may get some more nasty emails, harassing text messages and threatening voice mails - but is is okay. All of those things are the remnant of the old creature's habits and that good sister can not abide in my vision any longer!
So be honest. Haven't you ever wanted to give up? Write down the last three times you have wanted to give up and why. Now pull from the power that is deep inside of you and pull out three great reasons that have to do with what you have to offer to this world, your family, your church, your friends and your self that defeat that desire to lay down in the battle.
I messed up some money. Well, yes you did, but with the abundance you are positioning yourself to receive you will be able to give away double the amount you messed up. I didn't spend enough time with the kids. Well, what time is it now? Seems like a good position on the clock to spend time with yours and maybe two others whose parents are working hard to make ends meet. I didn't honestly do everything I could have on that project. Still, the next project gives you the opportunity to do more than you ever could have before on any project and it will allow you to mentor someone along the way.
I wanted to give up. I wanted to just lay down and cry. I wanted to wail like a big spoiled baby until God waved His magic wand and made it all go away. It just does not work that way and I am glad it doesn't. While the lessons have been hard, OH BOY THEY ARE HARD, I did not give up and there is a blessed assurance in me that may get rattled but it will not be defeated. DO NOT GIVE UP!
In what a lot of people have called absolutely crazy and not faith, about three years ago I stepped away from a position as Station Manager of a gospel station to move into writing. The truth of the matter is, more than faith, God had begun to show me clearly that I was out of place there and while I could not communicate so much of it to anyone; I had to go. Now, almost three years into owning a business, can I just be brutally honest here? I HAVE MADE SOME HUGE BLUNDERS AND MISTAKES! Some of them led me back to my former boss to ask for help. I have considered (and am considering) going back into the workforce (to some degree) to correct some of those mistakes. Yet, I have not lost sight of my vision. That vision is something I have talked about before - BIRTH.
When I began my solo writing career; it was about me. I was going to produce my plays and get them produced and write these books. Ladada Ladadee. That is what I was going to do. Then suddenly I had this business of coaching people through their writing process. BIRTH. Then I found myself with this small publishing company that now has this grand vision and about six authors waiting to launch their books. BIRTH. Then there was this blog where I would talk about the stuff in my head that relates to you and offer you writing exercises to work your way through life. BIRTH. I have not lost sight of my vision. Yet, I think that the mistakes, blunders, poor choices, poor stewardship and absolutely stupid moves that I was trying to hide were beating that vision down. So I decided that who the Son sets free is free indeed and I am releasing all of it. I just gave birth to freedom.
I have screwed up! I have had some holes in money bags (from the Biblical passage)! I did not count all the costs personally, familially, socially, financially nor spiritually - but unlike Florida - I have done better in the recount. Still I could not allow the stuff I did not want people to see to continue to block the view INTO MY VISION. I could not continue to see my vision around those errors. So there I have spilled the beans. I screwed up and I wanted to give up because of it, time and time again.
I have wanted to give up; instead of giving up - I keep getting up and as long as I do I know that everything will be okay. It may not be okay in my time. But it will be okay. I may get some more nasty emails, harassing text messages and threatening voice mails - but is is okay. All of those things are the remnant of the old creature's habits and that good sister can not abide in my vision any longer!
So be honest. Haven't you ever wanted to give up? Write down the last three times you have wanted to give up and why. Now pull from the power that is deep inside of you and pull out three great reasons that have to do with what you have to offer to this world, your family, your church, your friends and your self that defeat that desire to lay down in the battle.
I messed up some money. Well, yes you did, but with the abundance you are positioning yourself to receive you will be able to give away double the amount you messed up. I didn't spend enough time with the kids. Well, what time is it now? Seems like a good position on the clock to spend time with yours and maybe two others whose parents are working hard to make ends meet. I didn't honestly do everything I could have on that project. Still, the next project gives you the opportunity to do more than you ever could have before on any project and it will allow you to mentor someone along the way.
I wanted to give up. I wanted to just lay down and cry. I wanted to wail like a big spoiled baby until God waved His magic wand and made it all go away. It just does not work that way and I am glad it doesn't. While the lessons have been hard, OH BOY THEY ARE HARD, I did not give up and there is a blessed assurance in me that may get rattled but it will not be defeated. DO NOT GIVE UP!
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